Scoville Chonicles: The Source Hot Sauce
7, 100,000 Scoville Units!
My highlight of the 2008 Chronicle Hot Sauce Fest would have to be tasting “The Source” …and by tasting, i mean one drop of it on the center of my tongue – administered by a pig-tailed clown-chick. The next 15 minutes of my life were a combination of agony and endorphins. Shit was reedick. They claim to be the hottest extract on Earth…i’d have to agree. Old people and generally weak people could easily die from eating this stuff…You can buy it here for only $100 a vile. But that tiny bottle would probably upgrade 200 pots of chili to “Fuck-Alarm” status.
There’s no mention of the actual ingredients anywhere- Just this cryptic diatribe:
Ancient cultures, from the Egyptians to the Mayas and the Aztecs, were bound by a common belief. . . That all things good or bad are driven by energy. It is the force behind the rising sun and the shining of a nighttime star; it’s responsible for precision and passion. Legend has it that the god of love held the Source of all energy. He was trusted with this responsibility by the other gods because his heart was filled with good….Blah Blah Blah….With the Source hidden away, good and bad held equal measure. After thousands upon thousands of years, the Source became nothing more than a legend. Until now. In your hand is the Source. Now you have the responsibility to use the Source. . . Are you strong enough to take the challenge?
Be very afraid
Don't Seek the Blood from the Panther
Joby said,
August 25, 2008 @ 8:54 pm
Hottest one I’ve ever had was “Da Bomb Beyond Insanity”.. You can buy it on the same website.. It was ONLY 1.5 million scoville units, so The Source is somehow about 5 times hotter.. I’m pretty sure its just pepper spray left over from retired police and law enforcement..
ultradave said,
September 1, 2008 @ 7:38 pm
Yeah I thought i was billy badass once and had a drop of one of those super-scoville potions. Fuck what a terrible idea. I couldn’t breathe for 10 minutes and it hurt to piss for a week.
The Source Hot Sauce said,
November 23, 2010 @ 1:35 am
I watched a guy eat a chip half covered with this stuff. His reaction was brutal, of course. But what happened after was even worse. He said he went home and immediately vomited. This caused his eyes to water, but unfortunately the source started coming out of his tear ducts so now he had legitimately been maced in the eyes and the mouth (for the second time). After downing an entire bottle of pepto, he had to sleep leaning up against his bedroom wall do to the agony of the heartburn it caused, which he experienced for the following week. He said he thought he was going to have to go to the hospital because it had caused a hole in his stomach. He said he doesn’t recommend it.
El Boz said,
November 23, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
Holy crap. The clowns or the sauce? They both scary.
itBernieswhenipee said,
November 23, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
I want some of this asap. BUY!