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Archive for Blob's Reviews

TacoBlob’s Salad Toss: ThunderCloud Subs

Austin Club Salad: Smoked chicken, bacon, avocado. Carrot shreds, hard boiled eggs, cucumber, cheese, tomato, peppers and red onions.

Austin Club Salad: Smoked chicken, bacon, avocado. Carrot shreds, hard boiled eggs, cucumber, cheese, tomato, peppers and red onions.

The salad saga continues…  I’m always looking for low-cal alternatives for lunch. Hot Tip: Try front loading your meals with more calories in the daytime and less at night- probably more realistic way (with cardio & no donuts) to lose weight while you are pumping away at the office.

Thundercloud Subs

Austin Club Salad is pretty good.  Hearty and healthy, bacon and smoked chicken make for a nice combination especially with avocado.  I always get the Thundersauce- vinegar & oil with paprika (or cayenne-  not sure but it’s got some kick), extra pickle wedges and a few jalapenos or banana peppers.  They actually charge extra for each individual pepper which I think is extremely silly.  After a bag of chips and tax you’re lookin at $8 or $9.  I was feeling obligated to tip- especially for the things I’m about to say. Read the rest of this entry »

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TacoBlob: How to Toss Salad Like Jared

editor’s note: sorry, no taco’s here, but BEAR with us – Tacoblob is just getting back in to the blahggin game, and trying to be healthy too – BUTT of course, taking healthy eating advice from TacoBlob is like getting parenting advice from britney spears.

Most of you are naturally skinny.  You can “carb up” and still not give a fuck.  I don’t even eat carbs (except 4,000 beers per week) and I still can’t see my dick when I piss, so I have to consider healthy alternatives.

I’ve had the miserable privilege of eating at Subway almost daily since my new office is only a few doors down. The first few times I ate Subway salads they sucked balls.  BUT, I finally found a low-cal fat buster salad that’s not packed with pubes and carbs. Read the rest of this entry »

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Taco Blob: Taquerias Arandinas

arandinasoutside.jpg

originally posted 10/13/07…bumped for your pleasure, and since TacoBlob has apparently given up writing, or tacos…or maybe he’s too busy prowling for glutes. - cabeza

After a long 10 hour day at work, and nothing much to do this evening, I got the feeling I got to ramble. So I head down to where I used to dwell, Riverside area in South Austin. Thank god I just paid my car insurance, one thing about driving on the East Side, especially around Oltorf and Riverside is that folks drive like cock-asses. After dodging low riders and angry community college kids, I decide to go down memory lane and drive by my old misery pit, my old apartment complex in South Austin. Chevy Chase Downs, I actually picked the place because it was named after Chevy Chase, it had two pools and looked pretty depressing

This was a great match at the time as I was fat, angry and miserable… Read the rest of this entry »

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Lets Taco Bout It

lets taco Boutit

West Campus Taco Bell gettin’ crafty!
thanks to Chicago Fats for the pic

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Taco Blob Review: ZuZu

ZuZu: Handmade Mexican Food
FM 2222 & Mopac, Austin Texas, 78756
www.zuzuaustin.com

TacoBlob: Front Line reporter
It’s Wednesday. I’m pissed as usual, thinking about George Carlin today, he always points out “instead of T.G.I.F. that we should say H.S.I.O. (Holy Shit It’s Only Wednesday)”. It has been my mantra all day, it really feels like a Wednesday. After a miserable day at work, I knew it might be time to write a review for Taco Town, I write best when pissed, so all I needed to do now is get drunk and we’d have a review. After downing some old High Life that has aged (I found in our carport earlier in the week) I made my way towards ZuZu. It’s actually one of the closest taco joints to my house.
My last blog was on Taco Bell, so in keeping with the tradition of chains and fast food, I wanted to try this place out. Turns out it has pretty high regards in my circle of friends, even the TT staff has given this place some props. Since my last blog was on the dreaded Taco Bell, I figured I might be able to get away with getting some food to go once more.

I mean first off, TacoMutt™ has to eat with me- and it’s a weeknight and I didn’t really think it would matter too much if I ordered it to go. This place has a fast food style too it. I argued with my roommate Bernie that this didn’t do Taco Town any justice if I got the food to go and ate at home, he told me I had to eat there to really do a thorough review, after arguing with him, I cracked his fake teeth with a bat and headed out the door. I won the argument. So I made sure to take some notes on the experience, and what to expect if you choose to dine in.

After finishing my jumbo beer, I proceed to take the 1 mile drive in my gas guzzling SUV to my neighborhood taco joint. Don’t worry I passed my breathalizer, I was able to start the car. With my pilot uniform on, there’s no way the cops are gonna mess with me anyway. It still smells in my car from that fart I packed in the seat after work, Triumph Café has a mean Pho, I really don’t like what they do with the broth.

hang on, just a few more pulls..

hang on, just a few more pulls..

The empty-tank-gas light just turned on in my vehicle, looks like I am riding the bike to work tomorrow, this meal is going to put me out until Friday. I pull in I noticed they have a nice little outdoor area for pigging out, but I forgot TacoMutt’s™ leash so we had to do it to-go.

Note** I know some might say that this isn’t a true review, or Taco Town experience, but we don’t all always have time to dine in, I had a rough week, and peeking into the establishment kind-of freaked me out anyway, there were just too many Westlake white people in the building I didn’t feel comfortable.

Time to Order:

well stocked salsa bar

well stocked salsa bar

The entire staff of ZuZu was very authentic and genuinely nice, and the guy at the register helped me pick my meal. The only people giving me strange looks were the people eating there, but when you go eat somewhere and take pictures you get funny looks, especially if you are in a pilot uniform with flip flops and you look like a fat bald jerk. After a few declined swipes of my Visa, I’d like to thank American Express for allowing this meal to take place.

“What do you recommend?” I ask. “The Catfish,” he says, so I get the BBQ Catfish Tacos with Flour tortillas. The ZuZu blackened catfish is super zesty and has a fresh succulent bite to it. The sliced avocado and light dusting of BBQ sauce with a little cheese makes for a non-intrusive flavor blast. I really didn’t taste the BBQ sauce, it was very light. I got the Corn Salad and the Ancho Roasted Potatoes as sides. I also made sure not to forget about TacoMutt™, and ordered her a Chicken Soft Taco from the Kids menu. They had a truly impressive spread at the salsa bar.

I got bad enough breath, so I passed on the onions. The green sauce in the middle to the back was my favorite (in picture above). A fresh green salsa with the perfect balance of cilantro. The pico was fairly predictable and not very “soupy” it was a little bland for me, I think I would take Taco Cabana’s pico over this.

Remember, I am the fast food Taco guy. I am too tacky to be writing reviews on the really good places, I am just a temp for Taco Town, remember this when you post comments about my poor comme mmmmkay?

By the way, TacoMutt™ just let one go (broke-wind), we just finished the meal about an hour ago (I am now writing and uploading pics) and she is already staring at her rear end acting surprised at the sound, I love it when dogs do that! Since she doesn’t talk much, I guess that gives the Children’s Menu Chicken Taco a thumbs up!

So the salsa bar has some variety, I am a burn enthusiast and I truly seek out hot-salsas/sauces. I am not a big fan of red salsas, especially the ones that taste like Coppenhagen and chewing tobacco. This is where I am a disgrace to Taco Town, I can’t describe hot sauce for shit, Joby, please help.

Anyway, good spread, good variety, they offer several choices and I like that. I really like taco joints that offer 6 iced down buckets of different types of sauces and other mixins.

They give you a number and make you wait. I waited about 5-7 minutes, and I was surprised the two gays that I ordered before had already received there meal, and that’s the problem in this town being a minority. After we exchanged phone numbers I proceeded to find a seat. They looked gay, and they ordered more food, they were dining in and they got their food first?

By the way, I just made all of that up, I have a friend that happens to be gay. Did any of that make any sense?

Moving forward- So in the meantime I decided to do my standard bathroom inspection. This is when I really do a test to see what you are all about. If it weren’t for some 8th grader that got mad and threw toilet paper on the floor, this bathroom was choice. It was clean, smelled good and passed the test. I made sure to make sure there weren’t any children hiding in the trash can. And a local secret, the hand-soap is actually salsa too, next time you order, make sure and sprinkle this special sauce on your taco! It has a strawberry chalky soapy taste that I highly recommend.

this is pepe, him and i are going to rehab next week

this is pepe, him and i are going to rehab next week

They also had several reminders for the staff and patrons to wash hands. In fact, this brings up an interesting point. This place is OSHA compliant, they have the choking safety signs up and plenty of cleaning supplies laying around. It looks like they have a very sanitary situation going on, for some of us that prefer to frequent some of the more “greasy” Austin taco joints, at least there was nothing to get too uneasy about. A+ on cleanliness. Eat your heart out Arandas.

Some of the artwork in this place creeped me out a little. 5th grade artwork of suspiciously happy.  Nevermind, I did too much acid at a young age.

TM is ready to hit the road, her Taco Lazer Eyeballs have turned on when she spotted the plastic bag

This sums up the atmosphere. We have a place that’s serving Mopac and 2222’s busy hustle and bustle business class. They are serving up some really good food and some serious variety, handmade. They actually take the time to put fresh flowers in the leftover Jarritos bottles. Not only are they turning trash into vases, they use fresh flowers! Atmosphere gets an A+ even though I chose to eat on my living room floor with my dog…

Word! Good service, fast, clean, and check out this menu!

Variety my friends! And reasonable pricing. This was my first meal here, but I haven’t heard anything bad, they even have Mexican Pizza. I will discuss the sides in just a second…

Okay ,so I know the Styrofoam to-go box makes it look not so appetizing, but this was truly a good filling spread. If it weren’t for TacoMutt’s™ food I would have got outta there for under $10, but I also tipped my friend at the register for being so nice and patient while I ordered. Staff gets an A+, not to mention the food was delivered with a smile by ZuZu herself. Okay maybe not, in fact, someone brought up a good point, what the hell does ZuZu mean?

This does not tell us why. Used without ZuZu’s permission, this is a screen shot of the About Us section on the website. Looks to be that it used to be a franchise, okay now I am really confused. (Please read above for the truth)

ZuZu: They are authentic, it’s handmade, Taco Bell and Cabana are crappy and this place should never be compared to those places. It’s an Austin original I guess. I’m too drunk now to figure it out.

Fast food atmosphere, but they exceeded quality expectations, and although I prefer to blather my awful gringo Spanish at most taco joints, these folks spoke good English, which technically should make them lose points, but none of this review makes any sense anyway so…Back to the meal

Bernie insisted on feeding her the butter sauce from his scallop dinner as a top off, does anyone reading this work for P.E.T.A.? I can email you our address to serve us the cruelty paper

The Ancho Roasted Potatoes were a highlight for me. They were sharp, and soft to taste. They were pretty crisp on the outside, but it was a thin layer, almost like home-fries. The corn Salad was fresh and zesty. Both were fairly basic sides, but it was a nice change of pace instead of beans and cheese and more food to make my stomach say “way to go blob”

She didn’t chew. She inhaled it. It was a light rub of spices, I really shouldn’t have wasted this $2.50 taco on TacoMutt™. Oh well, I tasted a piece, I will be getting some of these next time. It was a simple taco, but the choice of fajita spices was sharp and bold

Taco Fats Out. Bernie is whining now because he has to go to bed, he doesn’t work and he got up at 8am so he’s living the rough life and now I can’t do this place any more justice because my roommate is an old washed up loser.

Cheers Taco Town,

Over and out. Chicago BLOB

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Toxic Bell – North Austin

this is the first in a series of reports from our resident taco blob, Chicago Fats.. The blob will be your man behind enemy lines, going boldy where no self-respecting taco lover should ever go.. the fast food joints..wish him luck and prepare to be disgusted and ashamed for him and his sidekick dog Taco Mutt.

blob1.jpgTuesday, September 11, 2007
Starring: TT Blob & Taco Mutt

Bonus: It’s 59 cent Taco Tuesdays! Taco Mutt is in LUCK!

Where the fuck do we start? Walked up to the local grocery store, I just maxed out the American Express on Heineken and the HEB bacteria infested rotisserie chickens just didnt seem appealing to me tonight, so we headed on over to the local TB. Me and the Taco Mutt™. Taco Tuesday is her favorite day.

I walk up to the cashier knowing that I want the NEW! NEW! NEW! Cheesy Beefy Melt! Turns out the cashier can’t talk, in her whispering miserable voice she informed me she was trying to get management to let her go home sick, she thinks she has strep throat. I also have a miserable sore throat too, I hear it was going around, I actually missed most of work today because I couldn’t talk this morning. Nice to know that cashier lady is rubbing it all over your change!  Turns out, management wouldn’t let her leave because they use the slime in the back of her throat in the special sauce for the Cheesy Beefy Melt. Read the rest of this entry »

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