Ever wondered how to turn a Taco Bell Fail feast into a gourmet dish?  Fancy Fast Food shows you how to make a TacoBellini from a Burrito Supreme…Yes, its still liable to give you giardia, but doesn’t it look fancy?

bzzzzt..

La Posada, or loosely translated, “the portopotty”, started out with a salsa that, while definitely spicy enough with jalepeno or serrano peppers, had way to much black pepper in it that was noticeable as soon as it hit the tongue.

We all got variations of tacos except for Taco-Tara, who rolled with their “Famous Enchiladas”. I think they were made famous in a Wal Mart parking lot trailor stand in Nebraska in the early 90′s when they actually cared about their food. Taco-Tara didnt complain too much about them but we’re pretty sure she was just being nice.

I had the 2 taco lunch special #1 which consisted of a shitty crispy beef bag of fail and a soggy pink chickened bag of fail. These atrocities were accompanied by the worst refried beans ive had since the Bears won their last Superbowl. They had obviously burnt the shit out of the giant metal bucket they cooked these things in because they tasted like burnt ass. I would have rather ate a flaming bag of poop as it would have tasted exactly the same and wouldve made for a better story.

We finished up with the FLAAAAAAAAAN. Im pretty sure that it was congealed giraffe semen accompanied by a sauce of pure sugar and vanillla. Fail. This was the worst Mexican i’ve had in Austin in since i can remember. Cabeza made the correct comment “This was the kind of place that we should’ve sent one person in to test the waters so that all 4 of us didnt have to have our lunch ruined at the same time.”

Nuff said.

Cabeza adds this:  it was the worst tortilla soup i’ve EVER had. tasted like a chicken taco drenched in bongwater. Never again.

pics after the break >

La Parilla

So we made it a point this week to go exploring the north side of the ATX… in search of hidden gems.. hoping to strike mexi-gold. It was a trying experience for us..we hit Lamar at 2222 and headed north.. past Los Jefes, our last bad north lamar experience, north past 183.. and then we saw Mr. Pollo.. looked tempting so we parked it and started walking in.. only to be stopped in our tracks by 2 dudes walking out, claiming that they’d been burned! we had to take their word for it.. they seemed like dependable taco loving jerks (pictured at right), so we got back in the car and continued north..

beware

the next place we saw was called Tacolate.. it was what looked to be a former Micky-D’s building.. we were hungry as f*ck so our judgement was thoroughly impaired at this point..and mind you it was 30 degrees and windy outside so we shuffled in looking for a warm meal.. inside the place was dead.. a few meats under a heat lamp.. a few hispanic dudes looking at us suspiciously..the heater in there was apparently broke since it was the same temp as we had just walked out of.. we took in the vibe for a minute or so while the lady at the counter ignored us.. then we turned around and walked out.. strike 2 for north lamar.. damn.. this is why i call it south round rock.. it really doesnt deserve to be considered Austin in some respects.. weak..but we tredged on in search of a hot meal..we were considering chinese at this point..
so we continued up the way until we saw a nice looking restaurant in a strip mall.. La Parilla.. this looks a little more respectable. .they had holiday airbursh art in the windows.. a big screen with saucy telenovelas.. a light crowd.. a full bar.. nice.. this place has promise.. we get the chips and salsa.. a warm orange-red suace.. very mild, but tasty nonetheless. decent chips..

the menu is pretty big.. lots of choices.. and i was still hungry as f*ck so I had a hard time deciding.. but for some reason I settled on the shrimp chile relleno.. food came about 10 min later.. Cabeza got an assortment of items.. a pastor gordita, a carne guisada taco, and a regular crispy beef taco.. Whiskydick got the mole chicken..everything looked pretty good… colorful dishes indeeed..

Shrimp Chile Relleno

I dug into the chile relleno.. it struck me that the red sauce surrounding it was a little watery.. the shrimp inside was plentyful, but they were the tiny popcorn shrimp variety.. not what I expected for some reason.. kinda dissappointed, but it tasted good enough and I was hungry as f*ck.. I ate on..

Cabeza didnt have anything good to say about his tacos.. the pastor tasted OK to me.. it was very red, which was strange.. too red. he had a general blah review for everything on his plate..

cabeza's assortment of fail

the mole sauce on the chicken was bunk.. it was obviously hershey’s syrup and a couple of other spices.. weak… dont think Whiskeydick could even eat it all…

I kept at my chile relleno..finishing my plate, and I payed for it.. with my bowels.. it was poporn shrimp overdose.. and you should know by now that my stomach can handle almost anything… the walk out to the car was utterly painful..

overall, it wasnt quite strike 3.. more of an infield popup.. I am just a little ashamed that north austin can’t represent.. I mean La Parilla is probly one of the best joints on north lamar.. and it sucked..so I will continue to call north lamar South Round Rock until someone proves me wrong and can present me with a decent mexi-meal up there.. dont worry.. I wont give up the search… a true taco explorer presses on thru the sleet and snow..

La Parrilla
9515 N Lamar Blvd Ste 102
Austin, TX 78753-4124View Map
512-491-9414

the score:
Atmosphere: 7 (nice digs)
Salsa: 6 (ok)
Service: 5 (blah)
Food Quality: 5 (blah)
Price: 6 (pretty cheap esp lunch specials)

Total 29/50 Rating: 2.9 out of 5 stars